Celebration Sunday

Our church did something new today.

To be honest, I'm not sure what the motivation behind it was. What I am positively certain of is that it was incredibly moving, freeing. I rarely cry in public. I did today. And I wasn't the only one. Sniffles and Kleenex were plentiful throughout the sanctuary. It would have been a good day to have a box at the end of each pew. The presence of the Holy Spirit was overwhelming.

Last Sunday an invitation was made to bring something that you do or something that symbolizes something you do that you want to dedicate to God. Something you want to give to him, something you already do that you want to offer as a form of worship. A symbol to lay at the foot of the cross.

Before the final words crossed the announcer's lips, I knew what I had to bring. 

I anticipated this all week. This morning arrived and I had my offering ready to go. I didn't know how the morning would go, but I was ready. 

Worship began as normal and then the plan was explained. We were invited to worship in a variety of ways. God the ultimate creator and artist inspired and worshiped through painting, singing, dancing, praying, giving. People wrote out offerings and burdens and nailed them to the cross, right where they belong. Two baptisms had been planned, seven took place. People who had been feeling God's gentle nudge took the plunge. Literally. And without having brought a change of clothes. It. was. amazing.

I've thought a lot about time recently. I do a lot of things, most of them intentionally for God's purposes. I am very much a planner, God wired me that way, it's no surprise to him. But if we plan every minute of every day, we leave God no room to lead. I want him to lead me. I need him to lead me. 

After the baptisms were over, we sang more praises. Extravagant, moving, tear-filled praises that at times I could only listen to because I was overcome by emotion. My favorite songs lead by incredibly gifted musicians. It was then that I finally mustered up the courage to walk to the front and not just lay my offering at the foot of the cross, but nail my offering to it.

"The Lord directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives. Though they stumble, they will never fall, for the Lord holds them by the hand." ~ Psalm 37:23, 24

Where the Rubber Meets the Road

An unexpected "snow" day. Freezing rain last night caused dangerously icy roads and cancelled buses, meaning the girls would get to stay home. The phone call came at bedtime last night. They were elated.

I was not.

Between our vacation and Christmas holidays, we've had an entire month off - and it's not that I haven't enjoyed my time with them. I have, very much. It's not even that I didn't want them around today. It's that as much as I love unscheduled, laid-back, do-what-we-want-when-we-feel-like-it time, I need routine. My internal wiring demands it.

While they were in school yesterday, I spent the day getting my house back in order - doing laundry, cleaning and padding the pockets of the owners of Costco. A start, but just barely.

Today was going to be the day. Although I was tired, today I was going to get back in the saddle, clean out my Inbox, get back into the groove of my volunteer work and take care of some important tasks that have been sitting idle for the past month. Didn't happen. There was no way any of it could happen - my #1 supporter was away from the wee hours of the morning and will not return until late tonight. Today could not go as I had hoped. Disappointment.

Plan B. I would do something I enjoy with the girls. We would work together to digitally scrapbook our vacation. Yeah, that sounds like fun! While trying to set up the basement computer, the wireless keyboard decided it had a mind of its own, excited children were impatient, and there was a huge, sticky mess all over the table I was trying to work on (that I had asked them to clean up three times already.) How many times do I have to ask them to clean up their messes? Frustration.

Then the phone rang.

A commitment from two years ago lingers. I thought I wrapped up all the loose ends months ago. Not so. It's important, it's urgent -- and it's my responsibility to make sure it happens or the consequences could be undesirable at best. Stress. I thought I had dealt with this very issue, but my follow up was inadequate. Phone calls. More stress. Harsh words directed at me. Children interrupting and wanting my attention while I was on the phone. Blood pressure rising, tears threatening. Not my best performance, true, but not failure either. Am I really cut out for leadership? Insecurity.

This is where the rubber meets the road. Here I am on this journey to find joy in situations, and I am clearly not feeling the love. Whose fault is that? We are only capable of feeling one emotion at a time. We get to CHOOSE that emotion. The only way to fight emotion is with emotion.

I choose joy.

It was time to start that list of 1000 gifts. The girls question. I explain, they join. This is the woman I want to be. This is the mom I want to be. I've always been convicted that the best way to lead is by example. Good, bad or ugly, it always works. This is the direction I want to lead in.

The rubber met the road today.

And we took off with a squeal of delight.

(Gift #3: Groovin' with my girls.)