My blog has felt somewhat lackluster to me lately and I don't like it. So when I stumbled across
Allume's website and blog I was excited. I found it just in time to join this challenge. Coincidence? I don't believe in coincidence.
This will indeed be a challenge for me, but I'm willing and ready so here we go!
Today's Challenge: Write five nondescript sentences. Look at them again and re-write them to show not tell what was happening. Go over them again and pump them full of interesting and descriptive words to really drive your point home!
I invite your gentle feedback. I want to hear what you have to say, but go easy. I'm a tender soul.
Original:
1. I am thankful that spring is near.
2. I don't have much planned today.
3. I want to grow as a writer.
4. My dog is sleeping on the floor.
5. I have a dramatic child.
Redone:
1. As I sip my coffee from the comfort of my recliner, the sight of a clear blue sky, melting snow, an earlier sunrise, and songbirds in the trees fills my soul with joy.
2. My wide-open schedule allows me the freedom to fully commit my time to God today.
3. While I've always expressed myself best through writing, I do not claim to write well and desire to improve.
4. From the floor by my feet I see the indicative twitching and hear the stifled barks. He's chasing deer in his dreams.
5. "Is she okay?!" inquired the concerned passer-by who had stopped on our country road, turned off his music and rolled his windows down after hearing the wails of a child whose sister hadn't agreed with her plan.
Pump Up:
1. As the aroma of freshly ground beans fills the air and steam rises from my favorite mug, I am filled with joy a little earlier each morning as I behold the beauty of a clear blue sky, melting snow and songbirds flitting in the branches against the backdrop of a beautiful sunrise.
2. A quick glance at my abnormally blank calendar page told me all I needed to know. Considering a variety of potential options, I chose to commit it all to the glory of my Creator.
3. Reflecting on my writing, I quickly realized my desire to improve on content, style and skill.
4. I see the twitching and hear the muffled barks. The curled up tail-wagging bundle of love is chasing deer in his dreams.
5. Upon hearing the blood-curdling screams and seeing the child lying prone on the trampoline, he skidded to a halt, turned off his radio and rolled down his windows. "Is she okay?!" he yelled across the farmyard. "She's just mad," the sister replied, and he drove away shaking his head.